Post ALMOST anything you want thread

Now thats an Airboat!!!!

 

This is a bit old but still worth thinking about.

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1950's vs. 2010

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1950's - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2010 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1950's - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2010 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1950's - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1950's - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse, Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1950's - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2010 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.

1950's - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2010 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1950's - Ants die.

2010 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents - and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1950's – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

 

Letter to the Men's Helpline :



Hi Guys,

I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace it?

 

1950-2012

Jim, sad but true!:confused:

About the serious problem. This is really serious. Don't use the boat till you weld it or have it done professionally. You don't want to loose a good boat motor in the lake. Those things are hard to replace.

Don't worry about your wife. It was probably warm that evening and she was very hot!
Also some of my wife's girlfriends are afraid to talk to me on the phone too. Could be because I hit on them. Don't worry about it. It's far more fun talkin to your fishin buddies.

 

Funny stuff! Sad part about it is that it's more fact than fiction!

 

wow....I really feel for ya, man! It depends on what metal that bracket is made out of. I would probably just get a new one. Sure hope you are able to solve this problem. I know that boat gives you a lot of pleasure.

 

This car makes me giggle like a school girl...not even kidding.

 

I'm giggling too! Why's there a wild animal in front of it?

 

WHY DO YA THINK MY CUZS RIDE IS FUNNEY ? AND YA AT TIMES HE CAN GET a LITTLE wild , HE NOT AN animal JUST A COOL CAT STRUTIN HIS STUFF

 

We don't think it's funny as in funny. We giggled cause we think it's cool! And I'm worried about that stray cat in front of the tire.

 

I saw that little kitty there too! That pic just makes my knees weak...I mean that is just so damned cool.

 

ok, just keepin an eye on you guys

 

You cock one eye at us and we'll cock one eye at you. We're just worried about you stray cats gettin squished.

We'll just look cockeyed at each other!I still like the lowdown wagon. But it's so low a cat couldn't clear the scrub line.

 

I didn't want to start a new thread for this

So I figured that this would be the best place...
Now this is a bit of an odd subject but I really need help with this. It is about disability benefits... um monthly payments. It is my understanding that ones monthly payments can and often do vary per state. According to my local Social Security office, which is apparently under all new staff, the only state in which I will get anything different is California. When I first went in there they told me that they couldn't tell me anything. After explaining to them that this was the only place that I could find out anything they said it would only be different if I moved to a large city. I quickly responded with Chicago and they said No that it would only make a difference if the state provided a state funded supplement. I told them that I had read online that Illinois was one such state. I also explained that Missouri has a cap limit on how much I am allowed to get, which is about half what I am supposed to get. They said they would be back and disappeared into the back for about 5 minutes or so and came back to inform me that the state of Illinois won't be any different than here. I said that read it online that Illinois pays better and that I wanted to know if there was a cap limit there or not. They told me that the site was wrong... It was a Social Security website!

You see I know already that Missouri gets to pocket half of my monthly benefits and they "withheld" $10,000 of my back pay. I get both SSI and SSDI. I should be getting about $1200 - $1300 a month in a state without state provided supplement. So it is only reasonable to assume that they were told to tell me anything that would make it seem impossible and pointless to move anywhere else in the country. Missouri needs its income while I get the left over pittance. All I need is to know about other states... No scratch that I need to know about living in Chicago, Illinois. [At least I know that you don't pronounce the 's' unlike most of the people who live here!] It simply can't be possible that I am forever restricted to a crappy $718 a month if I live somewhere where the minimum wage pays more than I got payed at the highest paying job I had here in Joplin freaking Missouri!

Does anybody know anything or anywhere I can look or even the phone number to a Social Security office in Chicago? I have a family to think about and $718 is a slap in my face!

Thank You,
-X

 

Xav, have you considered a dissability lawyer? In Utah they have state appointed attorneys who handle dissability cases for free. It's handled through the Social Security office here, but I'm not sure if thats offered everywhere. I see billboards here offering it for free as well, until you receive a settlement, then they get a percentage of the settlement. I don't know, I just can feel your frustration coming through and want to help in some way. That is a slap in the face, no one should be expected to live on that small amount of money.