Post ALMOST anything you want thread

Today a mom would be put in a special ward of the county hospital and a dad would get three years to life. You are supposed to buy the kid a new toy and loan him your car while calling him a good boy.

 

Shoot, I'm not sure since I've only had my kids for 3 years but I've had dogs my whole life, all good, well trained and well behaved and the secret was just give them one good ass whooping that they'll remember forever and you'll never have to do it again. That and whenever the dogs did something out of line I'd take em outside and give them a bath with the hose. Then they'd come back in the house, cold, clean and defeated. On the other hand the kids just laugh and strip down when I spray them with the hose

 

Dogs make better pets than kids. The good part is dogs don't talk back and usually put away their toys when done. I've never caught a bad cold after a dog came home from day care and they don't whine for modern electronic toys.
Spank a dog and the neighbors cheer. Spank a kid and they call the cops.
And if you get tired of a dog you can put it in a shelter or have it put down. We tried that with a couple of our kids and had to go to consuling.

 

You wouldn't either, if you were a dog and had to pic-nic with these girls, Sir. Note the SS Gestapo staff vehicle, at the beginning of this propaganda for the Autobahn film:

 

I drove Ford cabovers like that with CAT engines but never saw anything like the talking picture truck.
Imagine that with late model running gear as an RV.

McLean was a popular trucking company in the midwest.

 

It looks like it was designed for playing chicken with annoying skate boarders, Sir.

 

Mom and I went to the valley, a 2 hour drive, to my sister's new camper today. I took the wagon, that car sure likes to cruise. It's so much fun see people checking him out as they pass by... it was a great day!

 

Who's he? Who did you have in the car with you and why was everybody checking him out? Was he double-mooning people?

 

All good station wagons are male named. Cars like a Prius would be Patty. Or Vicy VW. Maybe Burtha Buick. Thomas the train or Tim the Truck.
Mine wagon is Clive the '55. Maybe Michale the Mercury.

 

Have you ever mooned in a Montego, while grabbing the Debbie Straps, Sir? Aren't you forgetting that a (Plymouth) Barracuda is a man-eating fish and a Cougar is a middle aged and up female who preys on younger men? What about Chevelle? Would you name your son that?

 

Close...Mr. Chase, Sr. named his son Chevy....

 

And my Ranchero is "Babe, the Blue Ox," from the Paul Bunyan legend.

Although they were not oxen horns, I did find a set of steer horns for $300 the other day.