And then the fight started...

Discussion in 'Station Wagon Lounge' started by tbirdsps, Jun 4, 2009.

  1. tbirdsps

    tbirdsps New Member Charter Member

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    Location:
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    *****************************************
    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
    channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
    I said, 'Dust.'
    And then the fight started...
    ******************************************
    My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while
    we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
    "No," she answered.
    I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
    And then the fight started....
    ******************************************
    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
    grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the
    boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential
    downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
    garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would
    be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and
    slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
    different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is
    terrible."
    My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid
    husband is out fishing in that?"
    And then the fight started...
    ******************************************
    I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the
    road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how
    sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem
    funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He
    stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT
    HAPPY!!!"
    So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
    And then the fight started.....
    *****************************************
    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, 'I want something sleek and shiny that goes from 0 to 250 in about
    3 seconds.'
    I bought her a bathroom scale.
    And then the fight started...
    ******************************************
    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
    someplace expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.
    And then the fight started...
    ******************************************
    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
    Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
    driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
    realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was
    very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The
    woman said, 'No problem that silver hair on your head is proof enough for me' and she
    processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I
    excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
    She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
    gotten disability, too.'
    And then the fight started...
    ******************************************
    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
    and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
    alone at a nearby table.
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    'Yes,' I sighed. 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
    drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
    she hasn't been sober since.'
    'My God!' exclaims my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
    celebrating that long?'
    And then the fight started...
    ******************************************
    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took
    my order first.
    "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
    He said, "Aren't you worried about the Mad Cow problem?"
    I said, "Nah, she can order for herself."
    And then the fight started...
    ******************************************
    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
    happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible;
    I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    And then the fight started.....
     
  2. Stormin' Norman

    Stormin' Norman Well-Known Member

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    And who won??? :evilsmile::evilsmile::evilsmile::evilsmile: :biglaugh:
     
  3. Ford_Fellow

    Ford_Fellow Well-Known Member

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    :rofl2: After forty two years wit same gal and all da stuff we bin through I wonder if got the balls to go with the last one...It would be bloody...
     
  4. Ford_Fellow

    Ford_Fellow Well-Known Member

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    After a short time considering and all da stuff I has done I would not even consider that one fer real...

    img_2154.jpg img_2225.jpg
     
  5. Stormin' Norman

    Stormin' Norman Well-Known Member

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    Just ask her to try the glasses and ask her if she stills sees the greek god in ya or the g'dam greek. She'll never think about whether she's all the other things. Gravity is a woman's worst enemy. Everything falls. :rofl2:
     
  6. Fat Tedy

    Fat Tedy Island Red Neck

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    Great stuff! :cheers2::rofl2::rofl2:
     
  7. CapriceEstate

    CapriceEstate Yacht Captain

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    I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, Thanks!
     
  8. wagonmaster

    wagonmaster Administrator Staff Member Moderator

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    An oldie but a goodie !
     
  9. GMWAGN

    GMWAGN New Member

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    :yup:That's a fair dinkum CLASSIC!!:rofl2:
     

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