Oil Change Fun. THIS is progress?

SO I did some oil changing this weekend...thought this might be a fun topic, since it's fresh in my mind.

- Starting with my 1996 Roadmaster wagon - 5.7 LT1, you jack it up under the crossmember under the oil pan, and throw a jackstand under it. Next, grab the drainpan, socket wrench, new filter, and some paper towels. Lay down under the driver's side front fender/door. The oil plug is at an angle and points toward the side of the car, and the filter is right beside it, hanging down and really easy to access. Drail oil, which because of the plug hole angle drains smoothly right into the pan, remove filter, replace with new filter, install plug, easy. All can be done in one spot..no fuss! Refill with 5qts...done. Total job takes 10-15mins.

- Next, 2002 Suburban 2WD, 5.3 LS, you jack it up under the crossmember under the oil pan, and throw a jackstand under it. Next, grab the drainpan, socket wrench, new filter, and some paper towels. Lay down under the driver's side front fender/door. The oil plug on the 5.3 is vertical, and points toward the rear if the truck. The filter is on the left side of the motor above and behind the exhaust manifold. Drail oil, which because of the plug hole location streams rearward...you have to place the drain pan behind it to catch the stream, and then slowly pull the pan forward as the stream slows so not to leak all over the floor. Next, remove filter, which is not hard with a filter-bottom wrench, but with a ring-wrench you have to reach over the crossmember and exhaust manifold to get the right angle..then replace with new filter, install plug, not a hard job, but a little trickier and messier than the Roadmaster . Refill with 6qts...done. Total job takes 25-mins.

- 2012 Buick Enclave FWD 3.6 V6 - you jack it up with the front subframe, and throw a jackstand under it. Next, grab the drainpan, and A LOT of paper towels. Lay down under the front of the vehicle and shimmy back under the motor. The oil plug on the 3.6 is angled and points toward the rear if the truck, but being at an angle...is easy to aim at the pan. This part is not hard.....but then there is the filter... SO re-install the drain plug and lower the vehicle back to the ground. Next, lean over the radiator cover and look downward between the radiator and the motor itself. The filter is on the left side of the motor about halfway down, sitting above the front motor mount, and below and around on the the fan motor...you can just barely see the end of it. It sits horizontally and points toward the front of the vehicle. To remove filter, first put the drain pan under the approximate area where you think most of the oil will fall. Then carefully snake the filter wrench between the radiator fans and engine, while swearing loudly as sharp objects cut into your hands and arms. Once you install the wrench...by feel, you have about a 1/4 inch of room to move the wrench, so continue to swear and slowly break the filter loose about a 1/4-turn at a time...you'll know it's loose when you see/hear the oil draining all over the lower motor mount and subframe...and please know that at least half will miss the drainpan as it runs all over the components and subframe down there. NEXT, slowly remove the wrench. NOW the magic happens. In an attempt not to spill the rest of the oil still in the filter all over everything, turn the filter by hand until you feel it come off the motor, THEN loosen your grip just enough to let the filter pivot...the oil coating your hand and the filter itself with aid you here, and the idea is to let the filter pivot downward so the open end is pointed up...keeping the remaining oil in the filter. Now, if you have not dropped the filter, slowly lift the filter out, snake it up, again while cursing GM and the vehicle itself as your oil-covered hand is gouged by sharp objects. Once the filter is out, wipe off the oil drips from the radiator cover and front bumper, and sop up as much oil from your hand and arm as you can, while looking for deep gouges and blood drips. Now it's time to install the NEW filter. Slowly snake the new filter down, wincing as sharp things poke you, and the fun part here is you can only see the very end of the filter, so you have to blindly poke the filter into the area where you think it goes, and then move and spin it at different angles trying to get the threads to bite...cursing here tends to help..a lot...and it will finally spin-on one you say best bad word... NOW pull the oil pan out and put it aside. Now get your Simple Green, Purple Power...ect, and soak the front of the motor, motor mount, subframe, and any other components that are now covered in spilled oil...let sit while you use the same stuff on the oil on your hands and arms, wincing as it burns, then take the hose and spray all the mess off you and the car,not forgetting to spray under the vehicle too. Add 6-quarts of new oil (DEXOS ONLY..$$$), then back the vehicle onto the street, and now use the hose to blow all the water/oil mess down the driveway and out into the street too..don't want to kill the grass now.. Total job takes around an hour..depending on your curse words and bloodletting. Don't forget to clean your hands and arms, and use Neosporin on any deeper cuts please.

Oh and it's always a good idea to install new oil change reminder stickers on the windshields..

Isn't it great how vehicles have progressed????





-Texas Mike

 

Your last one is rivalled only by a mid-to-late 2000s Audi, which not only has the filter buried down under the intake, but has a huge lower cover held on with Torx fasteners. So, lift the customer's car, remove the lower cover (I swear the damned thing's a meter squared in size), then drain the oil, it's not any major hassle to do if you pay attention. Lower the car, grab a Phillips #2 screwy stick and undo the fasteners holding the p!$$-hot coolant expansion bottle and move it; put a drain pan under the crossmember, and pray most of the filter oil hits it. Then reach down with the strap wrench and try not to burn yourself, but break it loose, then as you unscrew it, you have one chance to tip it upward to contain the rest of the oil, and a thousand different ways to drop it (damned filter is bigger than a Ford FL-1A) and drain the rest of the oil all over the floor, and I've been there...I even invented a couple new swear word combos. So you barely scosche out the old one, scosche in a new one, put in the oil (full syn, of course), then raise the car back up, move the drain pan so you don't accidentally kick it (I've done that too), toss down a few heaping cups of dry sweep and clean that up, then grab a wad of rags and proceed to wipe EVERYTHING down because God forbid the fussy customer find a drip or two in their spotless driveway, and as soon as you finish, install the farking lower cover, which is a one-handed balancing act until you can secure two screws. Yeah, the drivetrain engineers and bean counters don't give a flying fig about messes.

 

Anyway, good to see you accomplished all.

 

I've never had an Audi, but my brother had a Jetta with a VR6 motor, and it was a ball to drive...until it broke, and then the swearing would start....

 

Hahaha! I feel your pain!

My 5.4L 2005 F150 had a trick oil filter that drained all over a plastic cover piece Ford installed below it. After the first Exxon Valdez sized driveway oil spill, I learned about where to deploy an additional drain pan to try to collect most of the spillage. The engine oil pan drain was on rear of pan at an angle so it hit the container fairly decently. The oil filter had to be snaked through an opening/route barely big enough insuring you dumped remainder of the oil on the way out. Special Ford Bros filter wrench required,small 3" 3/8 extension and a flex head 3/8 inch ratchet worked best.

I just got an '18 F150 with the 5.0L V8, haven't looked to see what will be involved there. Now my sister just got a '17 VW Tiguan and the oil filter is on top of engine pointed down! That should be interesting?

 

Yeah, buddy! Nothing like containing a bunch of oil! BUT, it depends on if it's a spin-on or cartridge. I love cartridge designs, except Mini Coopers...what a PITA those are to get to and change out.

 

My kids were trying to take naps and I could not keep from laughing. Not at your expense, well sort of. Great descriptions guys. My o7’ Silverado is easy to do but the drain plug points right at a crossmember and splashes everywhere. You gotta take the plug out with your eyes closed. Maybe it’s because it’s not designed for the little 4.3 vortex. Mike, would it help if you removed the front passenger wheel? Or maybe there is a system of cheap plastic “quick connections” to navigate to remove the lower plastic cover? Nothing like dirty oil in a fresh wound!why do we do it?!?!

 

I did the oil change on my bro's '97 Grand Marq, and was pleasantly surprised when the filter oil, instead of draining onto the lower cover, instead hit the steering links, missed the cover and landed square in the pan! I was surprised but glad!

 

or you have the cars that have the giant plastic cover on the bottom, with an oil filter or plug access. but the oil just dumps everywhere on top of the cover resulting in extensive cleaning and the balancing act you spoke of earlier.

 

Oh, yeah. Subarus come to mind. Chevy freaking S-Blazers.... A door? Really? You couldn't just hinge it?

 

I always drive my vehicles up my steel ramps to do oil changes - gives me lots of elbow room. Also allows more oil to drain out, since the plug is facing rearwards on both vehicles.

 

90’s 4-runners have that heavy metal rock guard that you have to hang just so to bolt in those big 15mm’s. Haha. See? It’s not so bad mike!

 

I got lazy in my maturity. Besides, if I get down on the driveway changing oil I'd have to dial 911 to get me up. My simple solution is to drive three miles to my nearest Goodyear, cry, and pay $50 to get my 2o14 Impala oil changed after the fancy gauge shows 25% oil life. As far as I know there are no grease fittings, distributor or generator fill holes, or much of anything else to do,,,,,,,,,,,, not sure if they even check battery and radiator. The driveway is gravel so any and all leaks disappear.
I must save at least $50 in paper towels, degreaser, hand cleaner, BandAids, and other supplies. Don't need to get the ramps out, tools, or cuss so loud the neighbors give me strange looks,

Yet, I giggled while following along and remembering some of Detroit's mavels I've done lube jobs on.

 

Reading this, I'm beginning to think my S̶U̶V̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶m̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶ ̶p̶i̶t̶ 6.5 TD Suburban isn't so bad now that I've installed the dual bypass filter system. Before, it had a horizontal filter above the front driveshaft but it was not near as difficult as Mike's Enclave or that crazy Audi that Andrew talked about; now, my Suburban's oil filters are under where the middle driver side passenger would sit.

Any time I use an oil catch pan (ex-dishwashing pan) I also use a much larger pan that was for a bird cage; it's maybe 3 by 4 feet and I often find it saves my garage floor.

BTW, if you're in an area where they can fine you for oil pollution you might want to look into this oil that's made with vegetable oil as the base; I used it, it works:

'

It's probably the cheapest at their website:

www.renewablelube.com

Pretty new technology but I poured some on my lawn and the spot died initially but regrew in under a week.

Thanks for that, I just Googled "Flying Fig" and got this from Twitter:

 

The stupid Enclave requires Dexos-approved oil, and you mention any "special" oil at the quick-lube places and they tack on an additional $20... I'll just keep bleeding and bitching until I can trade this blob off....