Latest Texas Finds

Discussion in 'Station Wagon Auctions, Craigs List and Other Stat' started by 81X11, Aug 18, 2014.

  1. 81X11

    81X11 Well-Known Member

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  2. Krash Kadillak

    Krash Kadillak Well-Known Member

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    The text on the hearse ad is hilarious. It's worth a repeat:
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    Ad text:
    People have died to travel in this car, and many of those people travelled in it flat out.

    It has been used on Banger Rallies and we have driven it to New York and back twice. In fact I have included a picture of this car with the valet at the Waldorf Astoria - would your car fit in there? This one did.

    It is great on the highway. It has rocked the Tail of the Dragon (see picture). It gets looks wherever it goes.

    After some adult beverages, my wife did apply white and pink tiger leopard spots during a rally. They did not do much for the appearance in my opinion, but it probably could do with a respray and something done on the back.

    The performance of the car has improved a bit due to ferrous oxide injection increasing the power to weight ratio, but nothing too bad. Underneath it is solid as a tomb stone, if that tomb stone was made of unrusted GM Metal.

    It no longer has the full coffin carrying capability as we added a rear seat, but there is terrific rear leg room. You can put the seat flat and carry dead bodies again if you want, but we have not tried this.

    It comes with a CB, so you can answer back those pesky truckers when they say, "Look at those red-necks in that hearse." We did, many times...

    It is inspected and I can register it. It has a clean blue title in my name. It has had a lot of work done to the engine, nothing to worry about!

    Rare and probably unique (if not certainly should be) 2-tone front interior. We have lots of blue bits if you want to make it a single boring color.

    Do you hate valet parking as much as I do? I really really hate it, this car is great for valet parkers! They will not be squealing around corners in it, thinking how dead cool they are.

    Good stereo system in the front too, even a PA system. And alternating flashing lights; not necessarily legal for road use but no one has stopped us.

    This thing is a blast to drive.

    Could be great for advertising your business.

    $1,500 call me before Richard Rawlings does.

    Boring stuff:

    125,000ish miles Cannot remember exactly but somewhere around there.
    V8 5litre from 1991
    Rear hydraulic suspension works
    Alloy Wheels
    A/C but the old Freon and needs a re-charge - works great for a few minutes...
    Drivers window does not wind down, may fix this before it is sold
    Recent timing belt, distributor, plugs, wires, distributor cap, water pump, sensor thingy in water pump in fact almost everything except the long block and head.

    Uses no fluid and does not drip anything - I have British cars to do that for me.

    Will not ship anywhere, cash only. Do not send your driver to collect it. It is not perfect for your son to drive when he arrives in America to go college.

    It would make a brilliant art car. In fact we were going to turn it into a space shuttle, but time is against us. You have time for the art car parade next year.

    This car is not a barn find.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. ModelT1

    ModelT1 Still Lost in the 50's

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    The hearse would be worth it just for the add.
     
  4. Fat Tedy

    Fat Tedy Island Red Neck

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    [​IMG]


    Quote from seller.........

    After some adult beverages, my wife did apply white and pink tiger leopard spots during a rally.




    Sellers key words.............

    Cool, Buick, Roadmaster, Hearse, Station Wagon, GM, stiff, coffin, rally, art car, incontinence, catheter, viagra, imodium, Chump Car, 24 Hours of Lemons, Roll Cage, Bird Cage, Nicholas Cage, funeral, procession, space, wagon, estate, Caprice, broom, mop, graveyard, gravedigger, monster truck, bagged, donk, doink



    I fixed the sellers key words..................

    Key words: (should read)

    NOT Cool, Buick, Roadmaster, Hearse, Station Wagon, GM, stiff, coffin, rally, White trash art car, Drunk wife, divorce pending, incontinence, catheter, Viagra won't help, imodium, Chump Change Car, 24 Hours of being laughed at driving home because of drunk wife's paint job, Roll Cage, Bird Cage, Nicholas Cage, nut cage, funeral, procession, empty brain space, wagon, estate, Caprice, broom, mop, graveyard, gravedigger, monster truck, bagged, dork, This part CENCORED .... (due to forum rules)
     
  5. WagonKiller

    WagonKiller Well-Known Member

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    Isn't that last one the MOLDMOBILE from Huston?
     
  6. Fat Tedy

    Fat Tedy Island Red Neck

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    Gawd, yes it is......... I was trying to leave it alone and hope nobody would bring it up:rofl2::rofl2::rofl2:

    :wave:
     
  7. ModelT1

    ModelT1 Still Lost in the 50's

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    The hearse ad........... my wife did apply white and pink tiger leopard spots during a rally.

    Is that legal in Texas? Just running around in public in body paint!
    :rofl2:
    Wonder if Misty ever does that?
     
  8. Fat Tedy

    Fat Tedy Island Red Neck

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    Depends on how you do it, cat;)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICkWjdQuK7Q


    In the case of the seller's wife I think a 911 'I'm reporting a drunk woman on crack vandalizing my car (with a big crack no doubt) would have been the order..............
    ;)

    I love my wife but I can guarantee if she did that to one of my wagons, her Escape would look the same................Gawd I'm glad my wife doesn't drink ....and do drugs like the seller failed to mention about his wife.
     
  9. ModelT1

    ModelT1 Still Lost in the 50's

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    My wife loved that old yellow polka dot bikini song. Now she wants to buy one.:yippee:
     
  10. Fat Tedy

    Fat Tedy Island Red Neck

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    What???....The hearse or the bikini???:confused:


    :biglaugh::rofl2::biglaugh:
     
  11. ModelT1

    ModelT1 Still Lost in the 50's

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    She hates hearses. Said she wouldn't be caught dead in one when I mention buying one. I think they'd make a nice road trip ride and overnight camper. If I got one with two coffins we'd already have beds.
     
  12. snooterbuckets

    snooterbuckets Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't be caught dead in something like that. Oh, wait, I guess I will be someday, albeit with more of a factory paint treatment,hopefully.
     
  13. ModelT1

    ModelT1 Still Lost in the 50's

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    Where you will be riding how will you know what the paint looks like? :evilsmile:
     
  14. snooterbuckets

    snooterbuckets Well-Known Member

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    True that, Cat, but what really concerns me is not where I'll be riding, but where I'll be going. From what I understand, there's a chance it may be too hot for any paint, factory or otherwise.
     
  15. Safari57

    Safari57 Well-Known Member

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    I think I fit that model as well :49:
     

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