It's time, in 8 hours, I am on the plane for home. I can't believe its here and I actually wish it wasn't. I am excited to be finally home and scared to leave my wife and babies. I know the empty feeling I am going to have inside. It gets better with time, but it is like loosing a loved one. Helpless, empty and nothing can fill that emptiness. When they had left me to come here, nothing else mattered but the short minutes in the day that I got to see and talk to them online. I felt guilty to do anything that was enjoyable without them. I did not want to have any fun, because, no matter if it was something I normally would enjoy with all my heart, it felt wrong to be doing it without them with me. If it was something we enjoyed doing as a family, like camping with my cousin and his wife, which is also our best friends. I did not want to do it anymore. Basically, my world stops, my enjoyment of the world, it stops. I turn into an emotionless zombie. I try to have fun, try to enjoy myself, but i am a depressing wreck. I am not looking forward to this at all and I am going to tell you all, right now in advance. I am sorry for any changes you might see in me starting today. I doubt there will be much humor coming from me. I will beel so BLAH all the time and its already sinking in. My sons back home, they are excited to see me. Yes I miss them and will be great to see them, but I am not excited about it. Same goes for my parents, I love them with all my heart and would take a bullet for them both without thinking about it, but the thought of living with them is depressing. I hate to say this, the only thing I look forward to coming back to, is getting in the garage at my cousins and getting to work on putting his 72 Chevelle back together after it gets back from the body shop and then working on his 75 Chevelle to get it ready for paint. I hope you guys dont mind, they are not wagons, but I would like to start a topic about both of these cars and share some progress pics with you. Its all I have to feel excited about, because it will keep me busy when I am not working or sleeping. Anything to keep my mind active and off the emptiness. I am least looking forward to going back to work. My job is so easy, that I have a long 8 hours to think and miss my family. So, It's time, time to finally feel this emptiness feeling that I dread, but must go through to get to the prize at the end of the journey. thanks for being here guys and our gal. Scott
Chin up, Blackie! Things will come together sooner than you think. Think of the good things and think positively. Hope you have a great trip home and we will see you on this side soon!
It will be tough on everyone, you, your wife and the kids. Hopefully it won't be to long before you are all together again. We went through a similar seperation eariler in our marriage. Hang in there you can do this for your family.
Like we wrote before Scott, if you need someone to scream at, or just to say what's on your mind like this, that's what your wagon family is here for. I'm lost for words---which is rare. But I do understand your feelings. On the bright side, you have family, friends, a job, and those beat up old Chevys to help you through this. It'll all work out for you.
Best of luck in the future Scott. You already have a job lined up stateside? Good to know the Cat Man will be here for you to scream at when you need it.
Yep, that's one of my main jobs---and teasin the young members. But silverfox is always near to help me. Sadly for those young members, the more people like Scott who yell and scream the more we tease and torment!
don't forget 1. eyes on the prize! 2. i am only an hour and a half south of you. wanna talk wagon and bs in person?...gimmie a call. this time will pass quickly...but you should not feel empty. this is being a man..old school style! you are going to the other side of the globe because you are doing the best thing you can for your kids. hell, you deserve much respect for this. so stop sticking your tail between your legs and hold your head up sir...you're being a great father, and a responsible husband!!
Thanks everyone, Ian, brother, anytime you wanna get together, just name it! As long as I can be to work by 2pm, I'm game. PM me your number, I had to clean out my PM box, somehow, people thought I was cool enough to fill it up, haha.
Not long after I became engaged to my fair maiden, I took a job 13 hours away in order to make enough money to provide a suitable honeymoon. I was gone for 6 months. At the time, each and every day seemed like a block of it's own 6 months, but in hindsight - the time FLEW by and it was a VERY good decision for the better to have gone. What worked out as a great outlet for me was that I joined a gym and worked out fairly heavy for at least 2 hours every day. It was a great stress relief, it killed time, and it kept my mind occupied from the obvious stress of being away from my bride. Obviously, your results and coping mechanisms may vary, but I've been in similar shoes, and I'd be remiss if I didn't share what helped me get through.
I got confused and accidently swapped my Hair restorer and my Viagra. My hair came in really full and long....But it is so stiff I can't comb it! Where's Scott?
Good luck Scott! Just keep yourself busy my brother and the time will pass quickly. Don't be afraid to have some fun it never hurts to smile and laugh a little. Your heart and mind will be with the wife and kids and they will be with you before you know it. Godspeed in your travels.
Good luck. And remember your family doesn't want you to be miserable. There's no reason to feel guilty for enjoying your time safely, everyone is making a huge sacrifice buy you will all be stronger together for it.
