greatest years of your life misc ramblings and insight into a1awind

ya know they say the greatest years of your life are in college....sure why not?
1.less financial responsibility
2. party atmosphere
3. do anything with out your parents up your butt
4. drink, study , smoke pot, drink, class, drink more...sleep...not neccearily in that order!

but how come you cant ever grasp the moment when it is happening?
you can only look back on it and say....i was happier back then, or where did the time go?. i find myself struggling with this on a daily basis.
not that i haven worked hard my whole life...been working since i was 16. (i know some of you...espescially those who grew up on a farm started much earlier)but i guess i have had a hard tim adjusting to the world.

i was very blessed in my college years. my dad lived in ft lauderdale, which in turn allowed me to go to school there. .....well for a beach bum like myself...jack pot! i spent a few years at FAU made a lot of great friends who i still travel down there to visit. when i was down there i used to keep a hammock in my car. this allowed me to study not in my apartment, but on the beach. i used to study on the beach laying in a hammock haning under the observation deck at the end of palmetto park rd beach. i would stop there on the way home from work.

At the time i worked in pompano and lived in boca raton. so i could just drive home along the beach on A1A (hence my screen name). radio on, windows down, smell of salt air. that was when i owned my first and only brand new car, a 2002 bright yellow ford focus zx3 hatch back. back then i seemed to care more about life than i should have, but not the parts i should have. i cared more about love and just fast-forwarding to the "normal life" where i didnt have to do homework or massive amounts of reading i could go to work and come home and do ....anything!

well, one year i met my mother for a little vacation at disney world. the first night there i met a girl at the pool at our hotel and we hit it off. i stayed up till 4 am just talking with her. this girl woudl be jenn my wife.

Here i am now, living in the town my wife is from....a town i never wanted to live in. and scared to death about having a kid, thinking my life is gonna end. thinking ill never see the beach again. i dont get it ...i have everything i want. i have a house, a beutiful wife, the wagon i wanted since i was 16 and stability (well, as stable as it can get in this world) yet, when i heard this song tonite (MONA Q : stay in love) and it sent me right into tears almost. it was a song i listened to on the party station in miami. i just wanted to go back....id give anything to go back.

 

Well, you CAN'T go back (I'm sure you've heard this before).

But what you CAN do is resolve to make the most of whatever comes along in your life.

You talk about 2002 as if it was many, many years ago - actually only 7, not that long ago in terms of a life. You have much to be thankful for, and much to look forward to. Don't be fearful of being a dad - your priorities change the moment it happens, and you don't mind. Resolve to being the BEST dad you can be. Actually, the easy part is when they're young. It's when they become teenagers when things get complicated......you remember that, don't you?

You say you miss the good 'ole days of college. Call up an old buddy and go over the old times, then make some new memories - go fishin', play poker, have some friends over for dinner.

Do youi and your wife share a faith? If so, speak to your religious leader for advice. They are usually very wise men......
---Prayer helps too.

and..............................

Don't worry.
Be happy.

 

It's all part of growing up....I still some times think that way...Meatloaf, Paradise by the dash board lite...the ending of the song

 

It's kind of like grocery shopping. We collect good memories, baggage, lessons (hard knox or easily). Then there's our victory memories from sports, business, inventions, hobbies. And the failures or unresolved pendings. We also have memories of goals past, present and future.

No easy way to deal with all that, but there's a couple rules I use:

I refuse to use the phrase "woulda, coulda, shoulda", when it comes to my choices. Life's a short highway. Most mammals can walk the day they are born. Most are mature enough to make with 12 months. So far, I haven't heard of any mammals living over 200 years, like some turtles. So whose got time to beat themselves up on what "woulda, coulda, shoulda"?

My second rule is to do things as right as I can, knowing that I will learn more and probably get an opportunity to refine my challenge, work or art. When will I have the time to do it over? Live it all, live it now, and that'll lay down the trek to the next layer in the spiral of this maturing adventure.

So when you go shopping for sweet memories, or the good times, pick a good moment, not a murky one. Rear view mirrors work best when you're over 80 years or MPH. Look ahead, using your memories as solid, sure steps.

It's one of my confusing concepts, how some people can waste time on paranoia. You've only got today, and now. You woke up, right?

My old man used to put it this way:

"I wish I met the guy who invented sex, to see what he's up to now!"

Worked for him. 5 kids, one world war, university grad at 50 with me in the same grad class. Drove over 200 MPH twice! Lived all over the country. Saw and did more than some of my own siblings, and successfully "Spent his kids' inheritance".

Look back if you want, but don't live there. It's like sitting on a barbed wire fence, with a foot on the past and a life in the future. Hurts too much, and takes too long to catch up and move ahead.

 

I can remember thinking, when $125 a week seemed like a lot of money.Now $125 a day,just isn't enough...When $500 cars weren't on death's door,and could be daily drivers,for a few more years...One of my earlier cars was a 67 VW Bug,I bought from one of my sisters.One day I walked into her house and announced that I'd just put $8 worth of gas in that car.And she said she could remember when she couldn't make $8 worth of gas FIT in that car...A song I really don't like once said then asked,"Times seemed so much simpler then.Or has time rewritten every line?" Well,times were simpler then.And it wasn't time that made things more complicated. In the Terminator movies,it is pointed out that the human race is very self-destructive...I've come to the view,that it won't be an act of great violence that does the human race in---it's going to be a long line of self-imposed complications that runs the human race into the ground.Like an unmaintained car,it's going to billow smoke and sputter oil until it stalls out on the side of the road.

 

guess i live my life in retrospect instead of trying to change what i can in the future.

 

Many people do that, Ian...not just you. I may be one of them. But what do I enjoy most?.....people that live for now and are happy. You've had some good advice here. And, being considerably older than you with many, many great memories...I can only assure you of one single thing.
You can't go back.

 

One of the things I try to instill in my kids (both 33 years old) is to not stop trying to better yourself but be thankful for what you have. Things don't make you happy.

I'm fortunate to have great memories of world travel and I feel I've been successful in my life. My kids are generally responsible but want too much.

My wife and I argued way too much 35 years ago then my wife said one day, "we have to stop fighting about money, we don't have any to fight about so we're not doing it anymore". We've been very happy since. We don't strive to have the best cars or best house or best anything. The couch just doesn't make us happy. Now that we have financial stablility we've turned cheap. If we don't need it we don't buy it. We are thankful for what we have and thankful that are kids live close by and still have fond memories of the past.

I miss a lot about the past. But, if you remember the simple life then recreate it. Yea you can't fill the VW with $8 anymore. But you don't need stuff. Responsibilities with growing kids can be awsome and pressures of getting by can be straining. Just keep things as simple as possible. Spend time with the family. It's worth much more than money. If you have things you can't afford eliminate them. Less pressure = more happy.

My ramblings and not intended to imply anything or pretend to know what may be causing unhappiness. We all, me included, remember the good ole days. You can't bring them back.

 

I grew up in South Florida, spent 37 years there. Lived in Pompano Beach and the surrounding area for most of my life. I got out of there a little over 3 years ago and you couldn't pay me to go back. I'm now 40 and would have to say the best years of my life was probably between 13 and 21. As you said I did not realize this until looking back. Growing up in South Florida was defiantely cool however it has changed too much and is not the same place I knew. As long as you truly love your wife and she truly loves you, that is all that matters. Make it a goal to go on at least one beach vacation a year. I have a feeling once you have your child in your arms your perspective will change. Unfortuantely I took some things for granted and now I'm in the middle of a divorce. Make sure you cherish your wife. Put down the wrenches, turn off the computer and spend some time with her.

 

Uh-oh,we're all goin' philosofickle on each other... For the moment, we'll all be reminiscent,then we'll keep trudging along. Hopefully, none of us have to pull a Vanishing Point ending, when they come to take our babies away... As several of you have suggested,we should be making these days, the Good Ol' Days. And,unless we get Viking funerals in our cars,I don't think we're taking them with us...

 

K....im 50 sumthin
i act 20 sumthin
I like girls 1/2 my age...(tho they dont always feel the same)

somewhere along the line it became more important to own a crap load of cars and a big house...i've only made 4 attempts ata serious relationship !!
and I think I should maybe give it a shot...again

I think the important thing to remember is this....
....You can always go to the beach !!...but going there with someone you like...thats the cool part!!!


....otherwise.....
a sticker on my old race car said....
..."your only young once...
But you can be immature forever"


Deep HUH ??

 

Thats the freekin story of my life!

 

maybe we should start a 'support forum'....:banana:

 

Who wants to be saved from that? Growing up with a streak of mischief is a good thing.

 

The end of a conversation I had with a young lady I hadn't seen in a while;
"Some of us have grown up,Brian!"
Yeah?..Well, some of us haven't."